caring

The delusion of caring that passes for caring among humans, like most human delusions, repulses me.

If this is too real for you, fuck off.

random time

sometimes the date and time stamped on an entry in this or any blog has great meaning and sometimes, perhaps most times, it is meaningless... you can only have a clue as to which is which or when if you ask for it, but be prepared, for the answer may be a whole lot more than you are looking for... you can fuck yourself for being a superficial twit and get pissed on or you can suck it up and swallow your pride if you really want to know something... but chances are, you have no clue as to what you really want to know... no wonder you get those odd silent stares when you speak...

if you only knew the truth about your limited conscious awareness, you'd realize that most of the time you are getting fucked up the ass while giving someone a blowjob anyway and you don't even know it...

what time is it now?...

if i wanted you to read this i would tell you about it

you are probably just another asshole like most humans, ignorant of your own sensory ability, blinded by the fears you've been taught since before you could walk or talk or think for yourself, condemned to stupidity for your entire life, and worst of all, buying the belief that your life actually means something profoundly wonderful... it's all bullshit, get over it, and wake up... if you aren't laughing, you missed the point, no probably about it...

because nobody cares enough

people pretend to care, but nobody really cares enough... the bullshit people claiming to emulate the jesus character are the worst as they bleed hypocrisy, condemning and killing and creating poverty and starvation and hatred while pretending they are righteous and holy... those emulating other supposedly good kind and loving savious are no better... they pretend goodness as they are killing their neighbors... they are worms feeding on the corpse of humanity...

don't wanna be angry

but fuck this humanity hypocrisy and if you don't know what i mean, you just may be a moron and part of it, but before i say fuck you too, i'll give you the chance to explain... and in case you ever gave a fuck, whatever is not considered an explanation...

all the lonely people, where do they all come from?

really, who gives a fuck?

you miss out

lately this place has been visited, yeah, someone, maybe you, stopped by here and maybe you even read the words... maybe you even left a comment and i didn't notice... but nobody read this one and because of that, it continues... and you miss out...

it's because

it's because so few people are not psychopaths (as if you could understand anything)... how can you know what you do not know... how can you open your mind to something you are too afraid to even imagine as a possibility?... imagine no possessions, can you?... can you imagine no countries?... can you imagine no religion?... pretty song, but you are too afraid to actually free yourself from your need for spiritual and jingoistic hate (no less possessiveness and greed) to even begin to understand the wisdom, no less actualize the words... you are the disease, the virus, the cancer killing yourself and trying to kill this planet... and if you were only a little more intelligent than an ape, you'd know the planet will survive and you will not... but you ignore and re-write history in your egocentric madness to quell your fears and believe you are some sort of hero... humans may be the stupidest sentient species in the universe, no wonder nobody else wants contact... good laugh, huh?...

dolts...

people are cruel

fear makes people cruel... even though it hurts them inside, they become numb to it and justify it by believing they must be cruel to survive... they must kill... they must hate... getting paid to be cruel is the norm... step on each other in the climb to the top... win at all costs... kindness is weakness... caring is weakness... the best liar wins... trust is weakness... be kind, caring, truthful, vulnerable, try it, you'll end up with nothing... show me proof otherwise if you can...

seriously now?

or seriously not, as in seriously, NOT! but fucking WHAT?!!?!! and really, now who takes any of this shit seriously, anyway... really?... no REALLY!! WHAT??!?!?!... it's all bullshit anyway, in case you were too stupid to realize the obvious... you can get fucking offended or shake your head pathetically with lame aspirsions boucing around between your ears (as if you had room for thinking at all) or you can get lost in mindless videos but the truth is (right, believe this) nothing is really as it seems, WHAT?!?!?... sappy pathetic fantasies as if you want to be with me or even ancient rhetoric, eros, saphos, pathos, ethos, or something like that... this?... WHAT?!?!?!... and in the end it all just may be relative opinions and complaints (or comments and complaints, depending on perspective)...

empathy

you can pretend it's ok, but empathy sucks... the world is full of depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopaths and you want to feel the way they feel?... you must be one too... it's the brainwashing you get from birth that convinces you that being a martyr is a good thing, that dying for a cause is a good thing, that a life of self-less sacrifice is a good thing, but you hate actually doing it so much you become torn into a bi-polar depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopath... and you pretend not to know it...

happy fucking birthday...

they will they will fuck you

people, that is... whether through government, religion, consumerism, family, whatever, they will (they will) fuck you and fuck you up good... awwww, did i hurt someone's feelings?... did i shock someone's sensibilities?... did i offend?...

well fuck you, being offended is just your way of trying to control me - shove your nose up someone else's ass if you want to be shit on... play the victim, play the poor abused victim, the pitiful frail human, but you are really a spoiled prick wanting to be jacked off... your mistake is trusting someone cares just because they say they do... they just want your money, your energy, your mind and body... don't believe them because they will (yes they will) fuck you...

what a waste

yeah, all the memories, all the love we gave is wasted, gone, bullshit because it's gone, the people leave and forget and there is nothing real left... not even enough to create something out of nothing the way i used to, just the empty realization that the caring ended and the love was wasted... and nobody who ever gave a fuck lasted...

titless

it's good to not be lonely
it's good to be in love
it's good to live with friends
it's good to have someone to sleep with
someone to cuddle with
someone to be with

it sucks to be lonely
it sucks to not be in love
it sucks to live alone
it sucks to have no one to sleep with
no one to cuddle with
no one to be with

and though it may not be quite so black and white
mostly this is way too right
and i'd rather be good
than suck

message to the missing

and being missing, you might miss this message, but because you are missing, this is for you... you know who you are...

why are you not following my words?... your caring ends?... you can get an email (or text, even) letting you know i put a few words online and you choose to be missing it, you are missing in inaction...

and i miss you less each year...

wasting time?

writing is a way of life for me and yet, why do i bother writing to people who do not respond, or worse, to people who do not even care to notice i am writing?... people suck sometimes, especially those who say they care and show interest for a little while and then prove they never actually did care by disappearing and worse, ignoring any attempts to stay connected in any way... it's worse when someone tells you (and shows you) they love you and want you to be their whole world... love is a waste on humans, they have no concept of how to do it or what it truly can be... why believe people can mean what they say?... why believe people can be trusted?... why believe people care when they so obviously do not?... fuck 'em all...

give a fuck

you don't, why should I?

the day before

the day before you learned how fucked up people can be, how cruel, how selfish, how mean, how unbelievably cold...

it was a good day...

trust no one

bitter angry sadness is bubbling down deep cuz ATT did what Disney and Lycos and Yahoo and others did before, suddenly blocked acces to web pages before i could download them and save them... yeah, AT&T fucked me... Disney fucked me... Yahoo fucked me... Google?... not yet... thousands of pages, 90% of my written gardens online, gone in an instant... corporate america could care less about people...

why should i...

fuck AT&T...

whatevery-er

whatever could possible be the reason behind continuing when there is nothing redeeming about this human life anymore and there is no hope that any of the humans will understand true enlightenment in this lifetime?...

posterity?... whatevery...