this is not for you

you don't care enough to get it, like most humans, maybe even all humans, so this is not for you except when i am telling you to fuck off because you don't care enough to get it... this is the where only the truest hearts, the most honest minds, and the most aware beings might find a shred of connection amidst the vitriol and sloppy farts... after all, if someone spits on you you likely take offense, but if a lover drools in your mouth you you likely continue sucking on her tongue... it's a matter of perspective and you are definitely not a lover or in any way an intimate...

if you think this does not apply to you, apply within...

if you dare...

you don't know what love is

you think you do, or maybe thought you did, but if you stop sharing your love then you do not love... you can tell yourself you care and you can tell yourself you hurt and create all sorts of rationale in your head for not sharing, but love is not love unless it is shared... the bullshit most people pass off as love is neediness, insecurity, or superficial hormonal impulses that lead to disappointment and pain, even tragedy, because the expectations are much higher than you can give, unless you love... what you do is fear and seek communal comfort to quell your fear, but that is not love... get over your fears and you may begin to understand...

stupidity reigns

the hypocrites rule, even if you miss out, you will dig your own grave in the end... elect another corporation... pray to another king... give into your fears and give up your rights and freedoms, it's easier when you are not responsible for your actions, when you are told what to do, when you don't have to think...

empathy

you can pretend it's ok, but empathy sucks... the world is full of depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopaths and you want to feel the way they feel?... you must be one too... it's the brainwashing you get from birth that convinces you that being a martyr is a good thing, that dying for a cause is a good thing, that a life of self-less sacrifice is a good thing, but you hate actually doing it so much you become torn into a bi-polar depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopath... and you pretend not to know it...

happy fucking birthday...

justice for none

ever wonder what it might be like to be the person who controls everything?... is there someone who does have that power or is that just a fantasy or conspiracy theory?... come on, can you use your mind at all?... ever wonder why people are so stupid to believe that if a small group of people, like rich bankers, for instance, controlled everything it must be either a far fetched conspiracy theory - or evil (for those who believe it), but if an invisible person who lives in the sky controls everything in this hellish world of torture and suffering, that guy to be worshipped and unconditionally trusted?...

morons...

meaningless drivel

as opposed to meaningless complaints (what?... shameless self-promotion?... promoting what?... meaningless drivel?)... how the hell did you find yourself stumbling through this place, anyway?... were you searching for the word fuck or masochist or something?... some sort of warped self-loathing?... a death wish?... accidental word association (you poor fool)... look around, i'm sure you'll find something to offend you, asshole...

hate too though

when i want to vent vitriol, venom, or vexation, i come here... when i want to spew shit that bugs me, i might go elsewhere (like the futility of a blog called meaningless complaints, for instance)... but when i am feeling the reality of nobody caring enough or the fact that humans are suicidal individually and as a species and i just want to stop hoping people will change and tell them all to fuck off, here we are... what fucking vulnerability is this?...

ok, you want more, i can do vulnerable... especially personally, the fact is, i write something about myself and/or something creatively every day somewhere... i maintain a daily life blog... i write in more than a hundred other blogs and places for an equivalent number of reasons... and the fact is that the fact is, nobody cares enough to be there everywhere every time i write... fact is, only a few people care enough to check in every now and then... fact is, i feel like i waste my time trying to communicate with humans, trying to maintain hope someone will understand and share... fact is, i feel like an idiot for continuing to be here... hey, maybe i fit in now, with the idiots i mean... pathetic makes us the same, right?... how pathetic...

yeah?

what a waste

yeah, all the memories, all the love we gave is wasted, gone, bullshit because it's gone, the people leave and forget and there is nothing real left... not even enough to create something out of nothing the way i used to, just the empty realization that the caring ended and the love was wasted... and nobody who ever gave a fuck lasted...

101

caring 101 as if it is so hard to grasp... that's right, a hundred and one posts right here and how many of them have you missed?... of course, you are way too busy to care enough to actually keep in touch, all of you who claim to care... almost fifteen hundred entries in the primary daily blog and how many have you read, no less left a caring word or two that would actually make your so called caring real... yeah, yeah, i know, time is relative and it's the thought that counts and all that jazz...

and how many thoughts included me?

you want positivity, go elsewhere, you'll find the reality of your caring, or lack thereof, reflected back at you it you ever show up here... the worst part is you actually think you do care...

one more daily delusion bought and sold...

word.

years of nothing

so easy to see proof that you do not care, so easy to see the shallow lies you tell, so easy to see the superficial facade you try to sell to the world and so easy to see how the world buys it... you are the world, you kill the children... and then you write songs and stories to celebrate what you call truths and glories... why would anyone not delusional want to be near you?...

give a fuck

you don't, why should I?

the day before

the day before you learned how fucked up people can be, how cruel, how selfish, how mean, how unbelievably cold...

it was a good day...

trust no one

bitter angry sadness is bubbling down deep cuz ATT did what Disney and Lycos and Yahoo and others did before, suddenly blocked acces to web pages before i could download them and save them... yeah, AT&T fucked me... Disney fucked me... Yahoo fucked me... Google?... not yet... thousands of pages, 90% of my written gardens online, gone in an instant... corporate america could care less about people...

why should i...

fuck AT&T...

faking it

the caring, the concern, the seriousness of life, the religious beliefs, the political ideology, the philosophical ponderings, the physical passion, the financial success, the togetherness, the responsibility, the regularity of entries, the righteous indignation, the amusement, the emotion, everything can be faked and usually is...

pretend otherwise and you are just faking it...

swine flu

if you, the government, a major drug company, big brother, sister, or yes, if you were experimenting with bio-engeneering or genetic manipulations or drugs and believed you found a drug that would make everyone calm and happy or easily manipulated or a genetic marker for passivity that could be triggered with a certain chemical, how would you convince everyone in the world to let you inject that chemical into their bodies for their own good?...

people love to hate

just look at what attracts the most people the most... the news is all about death and destruction, abuse and victimization, who to heat and/or fear... news you need to know they tell you...

people also love to judge others badly and laugh at others... just look at the tabloid papers and tv shows from talk to celebrity gossip to cop shows to reality tv shows... people love to watch conflict and ridicule and other people behaving badly or stupidly...

people love to celebrate death and destruction...

people suck, really...

why care?

life is momentary, so people justify caring because they believe there's some benefit after death, care because it gets you into heaven...

and if there is no heaven?...

fuck you (very very much)

. . .

proof is in the silence

cuz you really don't care

no matter how well you lie.