wasting time?

writing is a way of life for me and yet, why do i bother writing to people who do not respond, or worse, to people who do not even care to notice i am writing?... people suck sometimes, especially those who say they care and show interest for a little while and then prove they never actually did care by disappearing and worse, ignoring any attempts to stay connected in any way... it's worse when someone tells you (and shows you) they love you and want you to be their whole world... love is a waste on humans, they have no concept of how to do it or what it truly can be... why believe people can mean what they say?... why believe people can be trusted?... why believe people care when they so obviously do not?... fuck 'em all...

people love to hate

just look at what attracts the most people the most... the news is all about death and destruction, abuse and victimization, who to heat and/or fear... news you need to know they tell you...

people also love to judge others badly and laugh at others... just look at the tabloid papers and tv shows from talk to celebrity gossip to cop shows to reality tv shows... people love to watch conflict and ridicule and other people behaving badly or stupidly...

people love to celebrate death and destruction...

people suck, really...

full of shit

most people are... and i don't mean that most people are fat and eat way more than their bodies need so they produce a lot of fecal material and fill toilets and sewers and landfills a whole lot more than they need to, but that's true too, at least as far as i can see... i mean most people lie all the time... most people don't care what is truth and what is a lie because they lie to themselves... they say what they think they should say... they say what they think is right... they say what they think people want to hear... they say what they want to do, but all of it is mostly lies... husbands, wifes, bosses, friends, anybody... they just want their own needs met and will say or do anything to get it and unfortunately many have the power to get away with it...

we won't even get into the delusions that most people base their entire lives and identity on, thank goobers... the irony is hysterical once you know better, or just open your eyes to reason and the obvious... but most people don't... you're probably most people, so nevermind...

i deserve better

i know i deserve better treatment from those with whom i interact... i deserve to be appreciated more... i deserve more consideration for my feelings and for my desires... i do not deserve to be ignored, to be used at everyone else's convenience and then disgarded, or at least put aside for weeks, months, or years only to be expected to pick up right where i left off giving unconditionally when someone wants something from me again... i know my giving ways allow people to take advantage of me and my choice to continue being me, to continue giving unconditionally, enables the users... i keep hoping i will find one human being who is not a user, but no such luck so far...

i know i deserve fairness and balance in my sharings, but it just does not happen and i continue because i am not going to be someone i am not just because no one else has the courtesy, fairness, consideration, caring, and love that i experience in me and give to others... it is their loss and my loss, but there is no other way... i will keep teasing, poking, prodding, and trying every way i can to present the idea (that all religions are based upon) that fear and selfishness and holding back is not the best way to be and that love is, honest open shared unconditional love... i will not care less, share less, love less, give less, be less... like the worst joke ever told, i'll be back (bock, even)...

fuck'em if they can't take a joke... or get it right :)

the visit

what does the burning tree say to the burning bush?



fuck you?

huh?

or



Live!