caring

The delusion of caring that passes for caring among humans, like most human delusions, repulses me.

If this is too real for you, fuck off.

this is not for you

you don't care enough to get it, like most humans, maybe even all humans, so this is not for you except when i am telling you to fuck off because you don't care enough to get it... this is the where only the truest hearts, the most honest minds, and the most aware beings might find a shred of connection amidst the vitriol and sloppy farts... after all, if someone spits on you you likely take offense, but if a lover drools in your mouth you you likely continue sucking on her tongue... it's a matter of perspective and you are definitely not a lover or in any way an intimate...

if you think this does not apply to you, apply within...

if you dare...

keep your delusions to yourself

i mean, unless we are sleeping together, sharing intimate space, or actually bodily fluids, your delusions are your delusions and i do not want them in my way... whether you think there are spirits in the sky or ghosts in your belfry or even some rodent that can predict the weather, i am not interested in your mental illness unless we actually are sharing something real... if you do not get this, you are probably deluded so before you hurt yourself, just shut up and go away...

stupidity reigns

the hypocrites rule, even if you miss out, you will dig your own grave in the end... elect another corporation... pray to another king... give into your fears and give up your rights and freedoms, it's easier when you are not responsible for your actions, when you are told what to do, when you don't have to think...

don't wanna be angry

but fuck this humanity hypocrisy and if you don't know what i mean, you just may be a moron and part of it, but before i say fuck you too, i'll give you the chance to explain... and in case you ever gave a fuck, whatever is not considered an explanation...

still are

nothing personal, but nobody really cares beyond their personal bubbles, their sphere of influence, their ability to perceive and understand and control... if you thought differently, you were wrong... still are...

it's because

it's because so few people are not psychopaths (as if you could understand anything)... how can you know what you do not know... how can you open your mind to something you are too afraid to even imagine as a possibility?... imagine no possessions, can you?... can you imagine no countries?... can you imagine no religion?... pretty song, but you are too afraid to actually free yourself from your need for spiritual and jingoistic hate (no less possessiveness and greed) to even begin to understand the wisdom, no less actualize the words... you are the disease, the virus, the cancer killing yourself and trying to kill this planet... and if you were only a little more intelligent than an ape, you'd know the planet will survive and you will not... but you ignore and re-write history in your egocentric madness to quell your fears and believe you are some sort of hero... humans may be the stupidest sentient species in the universe, no wonder nobody else wants contact... good laugh, huh?...

dolts...

people are cruel

fear makes people cruel... even though it hurts them inside, they become numb to it and justify it by believing they must be cruel to survive... they must kill... they must hate... getting paid to be cruel is the norm... step on each other in the climb to the top... win at all costs... kindness is weakness... caring is weakness... the best liar wins... trust is weakness... be kind, caring, truthful, vulnerable, try it, you'll end up with nothing... show me proof otherwise if you can...

the psycho path

most rational aware conscious people

do not get

nearly enough credit

for not

being

violent psychopaths...

seriously now?

or seriously not, as in seriously, NOT! but fucking WHAT?!!?!! and really, now who takes any of this shit seriously, anyway... really?... no REALLY!! WHAT??!?!?!... it's all bullshit anyway, in case you were too stupid to realize the obvious... you can get fucking offended or shake your head pathetically with lame aspirsions boucing around between your ears (as if you had room for thinking at all) or you can get lost in mindless videos but the truth is (right, believe this) nothing is really as it seems, WHAT?!?!?... sappy pathetic fantasies as if you want to be with me or even ancient rhetoric, eros, saphos, pathos, ethos, or something like that... this?... WHAT?!?!?!... and in the end it all just may be relative opinions and complaints (or comments and complaints, depending on perspective)...

sympathy?

i don't want any, compassion, maybe, but is there any compassion in this world that isn't self-serving bullshit?... i don't think so and if you can prove me wrong, maybe i will sympathize...

titless

it's good to not be lonely
it's good to be in love
it's good to live with friends
it's good to have someone to sleep with
someone to cuddle with
someone to be with

it sucks to be lonely
it sucks to not be in love
it sucks to live alone
it sucks to have no one to sleep with
no one to cuddle with
no one to be with

and though it may not be quite so black and white
mostly this is way too right
and i'd rather be good
than suck

wtfuck?

oh, did i offend someone?... did i surprise by finishing the f word after the wt?... what the fuck is the difference?... what the fuck is the point of this blog?... was there any point?... was there any worth to any of the entries along the way?... years now this blog has been spitting vitriol and futility into cyberspace and now and then someone response with understanding or something... but what does it mean?... what's the point?... what the fuck?...

and in the end

you became meaningless in your absence...

and this blog was dedicated to you.

message to the missing

and being missing, you might miss this message, but because you are missing, this is for you... you know who you are...

why are you not following my words?... your caring ends?... you can get an email (or text, even) letting you know i put a few words online and you choose to be missing it, you are missing in inaction...

and i miss you less each year...

useless warnings

requesting attention may get you some
giving attention may get you more
but look around and take care of your heart
in this blog you will be torn apart

this is the anti-blog
i curse the hypocrisy
of people pretending to care
especially about me

words can mean anything
you decide in your mind
if you believe you understand
you might as well be blind

even in the physical world
where everybody lies
don't pretend you know anything
until you look into my eyes

and then, the challenge begins
dare truth to come out
I doubt you will, i expect you to pretend
that is what people are about

dare to prove me wrong
every test will tell
how far will you go
to create your heaven or hell

words can mean anything
you decide in your mind
if you believe you understand
you might as well be blind

it is all in your mind
where everybody lies
don't pretend you know anything
until you look in my eyes

anti-corp

maybe that is what all this blogging is about, the extreme antithesis of the corporate board room serious professional high risk of public exposure due to major secret privacy rules and laws and clearances and stuff i can only alude to cleverly and even this is beyond wise considering the dangers and losses that could be sustained if the secrets get out...

i am a rebel, after all...

and only you know...

sorta...

narf...

here, there, wherever

doesn't really matter whether i am here or gone or wherever in the end cuz the world goes on (and so do you) whether i am here or gone, there or wherever, and you don't really care cuz you don't call and ask where i am or how i am when i am gone and i don't even know you are there and we probably will never actually know each other so what?... we pretend we relate for a second or few and get some sense of connection and that gets us where?... here, there, wherever...

caring is a verb

if you do not do it, you lose it
if you do not do it, it does not exist
even if you think it does
even if you create a feeling inside
that fools you into believing you do
if you do not do it, you don't

did you care today?
what did you do?

101

caring 101 as if it is so hard to grasp... that's right, a hundred and one posts right here and how many of them have you missed?... of course, you are way too busy to care enough to actually keep in touch, all of you who claim to care... almost fifteen hundred entries in the primary daily blog and how many have you read, no less left a caring word or two that would actually make your so called caring real... yeah, yeah, i know, time is relative and it's the thought that counts and all that jazz...

and how many thoughts included me?

you want positivity, go elsewhere, you'll find the reality of your caring, or lack thereof, reflected back at you it you ever show up here... the worst part is you actually think you do care...

one more daily delusion bought and sold...

word.