abstract or concrete thought

People are mostly confused, delusional, and afraid to actually think for themselves, therefore their thoughts are relatively meaningless whether they are abstract or concrete as they are "hive" or collective thoughts and not individual thoughts, rendering all irrelevant.

the joke

or not so joke is that i am one of the people laughing at the ridiculousness of egocentric insecurity that compels us to pretend that anybody might care to know every little thing about me or you or anyone as if something important like happiness or world peace rests on writing these words...

wait, it's time for my next tweet...

narf.

hurt hurts

some people just want to hurt you because they hurt and the don't want to hurt alone... the trouble is, they could kill you...

protect yourself...

you don't care

if you did, you'd have change the world a long time ago... but what did you do today?... did you hurt someone?... did you lie to someone?... did you waste something?... did you think about some kid starving somewhere or the people who died in the past hour? (every hour)... what is in your garbage?... what is in your heart?...

you think no one sees?...

.

.

.

exactly...

the day before

the day before you learned how fucked up people can be, how cruel, how selfish, how mean, how unbelievably cold...

it was a good day...

trust no one

bitter angry sadness is bubbling down deep cuz ATT did what Disney and Lycos and Yahoo and others did before, suddenly blocked acces to web pages before i could download them and save them... yeah, AT&T fucked me... Disney fucked me... Yahoo fucked me... Google?... not yet... thousands of pages, 90% of my written gardens online, gone in an instant... corporate america could care less about people...

why should i...

fuck AT&T...

and it really doesn't matter if you're wrong or right

when nobody cares...

whatevery-er

whatever could possible be the reason behind continuing when there is nothing redeeming about this human life anymore and there is no hope that any of the humans will understand true enlightenment in this lifetime?...

posterity?... whatevery...

you don't get it

unless you see the laughter behind the insults (fuck you) and the truth within the message (fuck me) because the whole point is to separate the idiots from the morons and those in between from those who think eating at mcdonalds is a celebration from those who only eat the center cut of cow and those who believe life is defined by five senses and the egocentric self-serving narrow view humans take of everything because they are so afraid and will kill rather than admit it, so arrogant, really, but judgments and killing seem to give that false sense of security and power that people think they need, delusional species that humans are...

yeah, you, you don't get it...

suicidal tendencies

that is the human way

if you take any of this seriously

you are an idiot... but then, you had to know that was coming, look where you are... here again?... i mean, again?... obviously, you are wrong, because it you do not take this seriously, you just prove the point, nobody cares, so why should you...

so why are you here, really?

you really don't care

it shows in all your silences, in your pretenses, in your hypocrisy and obvious manipulations... yes, you, i am talking about you... stop looking around, you know who you are... you really don't care...

so why do you keep trying to pretend you do?

do you pick your nose when you snore?

most people do, you know, and you never know it because nobody who sees you do it has the heart to tell you because it's embarrassing for both of you and people are naturally awkward to begin with so avoiding nose picking snorers like yourself is an obvious choice...

but i'll tell you cuz i'm a sadist...

of course you did

what're YOU lookin at?

he so did not say that!

fuck xmas and the donkey it rode in on...

you don't really want to know

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxi'mxoxoxox
xoxoxnotxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxfuckingxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
xoxoxoxmilaxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxkunisxoxox
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

no really, you don't

i mean, want to know cuz if you did, you'd be like all over the net searching and googling and binging and pinging and ponging and bonging and caterwalling about how unfair to local twelve it is that you don't...

know, that is...

antiblogdistablishmenterrorism

what would you be doing right now if the internet was not here?

faking it

the caring, the concern, the seriousness of life, the religious beliefs, the political ideology, the philosophical ponderings, the physical passion, the financial success, the togetherness, the responsibility, the regularity of entries, the righteous indignation, the amusement, the emotion, everything can be faked and usually is...

pretend otherwise and you are just faking it...

swine flu

if you, the government, a major drug company, big brother, sister, or yes, if you were experimenting with bio-engeneering or genetic manipulations or drugs and believed you found a drug that would make everyone calm and happy or easily manipulated or a genetic marker for passivity that could be triggered with a certain chemical, how would you convince everyone in the world to let you inject that chemical into their bodies for their own good?...

people care

people only care when they want to.

people love to hate

just look at what attracts the most people the most... the news is all about death and destruction, abuse and victimization, who to heat and/or fear... news you need to know they tell you...

people also love to judge others badly and laugh at others... just look at the tabloid papers and tv shows from talk to celebrity gossip to cop shows to reality tv shows... people love to watch conflict and ridicule and other people behaving badly or stupidly...

people love to celebrate death and destruction...

people suck, really...

yeah, today

I remember, but what is the point, really, if nobody cares (interacts to accept the caring, cha)?...

fighting is caring

if you don't care about yourself, anybody caring about you is working against you and faces a struggle with you, so anybody caring for you is picking a fight with you... so picking a fight with someone is caring...

think about it...

remember the dead?

why?

why care?

life is momentary, so people justify caring because they believe there's some benefit after death, care because it gets you into heaven...

and if there is no heaven?...

fuck you (very very much)

lol

wait just a doggarn minute... are we laughing at the irony of this blogging conversation with no one? (shhhh, we create our own illusions you know and i appreciate the humor of the illusion you help me to create)... talking about real people here and there and especially in thereal with you, as if you are real too... yeah baby, he's a real nowhere man, cha cha cha (narf :)

we now return you to your regularly scheduled bitching...

. . .

proof is in the silence

caring is a verb

if you don't do it, you don't.

but you probably think and say you do, don't you?

people are really so disappointing

death is probably the best end for us all...

full of shit

most people are... and i don't mean that most people are fat and eat way more than their bodies need so they produce a lot of fecal material and fill toilets and sewers and landfills a whole lot more than they need to, but that's true too, at least as far as i can see... i mean most people lie all the time... most people don't care what is truth and what is a lie because they lie to themselves... they say what they think they should say... they say what they think is right... they say what they think people want to hear... they say what they want to do, but all of it is mostly lies... husbands, wifes, bosses, friends, anybody... they just want their own needs met and will say or do anything to get it and unfortunately many have the power to get away with it...

we won't even get into the delusions that most people base their entire lives and identity on, thank goobers... the irony is hysterical once you know better, or just open your eyes to reason and the obvious... but most people don't... you're probably most people, so nevermind...

cuz you really don't care

no matter how well you lie.

fuck you all

but first, fuck me... come on, somebody (but not just anybody, get that right), fuck me... and i don't mean screw me over, abuse me, betray me, take advantage of me, use me, or in any way do me wrong (i've had plenty of that in this life already thank you very much)... yeah, in some way (elusive or not) i am teling you all the fuck off because none of you care to come out of your holes (read: private lives) and actually share, none of you care to actually become part of real life offline (and again, i do not mean anybody, or you, even, but there are some people in this world who would be compatible with me (never met?... what?) and it is you few currently apathetic souls i am writing to most right here and now, fuck you for not fucking me...

or even just picking up the phone...

who cares?

i could write the most profoundly essential words, the concept that explains god or the universe or everything, the key to peace and happiness and universal understanding, and who cares?... like the dam tree faling in the forest, it's meaningless... and even if you read it, are you really going to do it?... are we really going to share it?... of course not, we'll just go on bullshitting ourselves with the daily drivel we make so important (usually based on money in this sick culture) and nod our heads at the words and then forget they even exist...

i dare you to prove me wrong...

or perhaps the point is

the music above this or the words down below or the story in your eyes (go to the mirror boy?)... just listen and read and you'll find it if you want to and then it will matter... we cannot do everything at once, we cannot be everything to everyone, and we can only focus on one moment at a time if we truly want to make the most of the moment, enjoy it well, and share it completely... any less, and we waste it... so be in your moments, experience your choices, and regret only that you have the awareness of other desires you must pass on... there can be only one number one...

video guest blogger

407-325-1482

get the point?

i deserve better

i know i deserve better treatment from those with whom i interact... i deserve to be appreciated more... i deserve more consideration for my feelings and for my desires... i do not deserve to be ignored, to be used at everyone else's convenience and then disgarded, or at least put aside for weeks, months, or years only to be expected to pick up right where i left off giving unconditionally when someone wants something from me again... i know my giving ways allow people to take advantage of me and my choice to continue being me, to continue giving unconditionally, enables the users... i keep hoping i will find one human being who is not a user, but no such luck so far...

i know i deserve fairness and balance in my sharings, but it just does not happen and i continue because i am not going to be someone i am not just because no one else has the courtesy, fairness, consideration, caring, and love that i experience in me and give to others... it is their loss and my loss, but there is no other way... i will keep teasing, poking, prodding, and trying every way i can to present the idea (that all religions are based upon) that fear and selfishness and holding back is not the best way to be and that love is, honest open shared unconditional love... i will not care less, share less, love less, give less, be less... like the worst joke ever told, i'll be back (bock, even)...

fuck'em if they can't take a joke... or get it right :)

the hope

foolish as it seems, i still have my dreams... and the hope that all these words, thouands of pages (many thousands, actually)... writing an average of an hour a day for more than a decade (with some days skipped and other days lived in the words from waking to sleeping) writing and sending these words, these messages in bottles out on to the cyber seas... like a drunk robinson caruso talking to a soccer ball named amy, or [insert name here] and hoping for a response...

you're an idiot, i hear from the back of my mind... everybody is living while you are writing... and yet, someone must love words as i do, someone must want to share the words as i do, not as life, but as an extension of the mind, the ethereal life...

still, this may very well be why i am alone tonight...

what's the point?

you come here for a moment
pretend it's important
to share something with me
as if it's destiny
or something you really want
and then you're gone
suddenly as you came
carry on, carry on

what's the point?

the visit

what does the burning tree say to the burning bush?



fuck you?

huh?

or



Live!