random time

sometimes the date and time stamped on an entry in this or any blog has great meaning and sometimes, perhaps most times, it is meaningless... you can only have a clue as to which is which or when if you ask for it, but be prepared, for the answer may be a whole lot more than you are looking for... you can fuck yourself for being a superficial twit and get pissed on or you can suck it up and swallow your pride if you really want to know something... but chances are, you have no clue as to what you really want to know... no wonder you get those odd silent stares when you speak...

if you only knew the truth about your limited conscious awareness, you'd realize that most of the time you are getting fucked up the ass while giving someone a blowjob anyway and you don't even know it...

what time is it now?...

all you never knew

came before...

seriously now?

or seriously not, as in seriously, NOT! but fucking WHAT?!!?!! and really, now who takes any of this shit seriously, anyway... really?... no REALLY!! WHAT??!?!?!... it's all bullshit anyway, in case you were too stupid to realize the obvious... you can get fucking offended or shake your head pathetically with lame aspirsions boucing around between your ears (as if you had room for thinking at all) or you can get lost in mindless videos but the truth is (right, believe this) nothing is really as it seems, WHAT?!?!?... sappy pathetic fantasies as if you want to be with me or even ancient rhetoric, eros, saphos, pathos, ethos, or something like that... this?... WHAT?!?!?!... and in the end it all just may be relative opinions and complaints (or comments and complaints, depending on perspective)...

wtfuck?

oh, did i offend someone?... did i surprise by finishing the f word after the wt?... what the fuck is the difference?... what the fuck is the point of this blog?... was there any point?... was there any worth to any of the entries along the way?... years now this blog has been spitting vitriol and futility into cyberspace and now and then someone response with understanding or something... but what does it mean?... what's the point?... what the fuck?...

i. m. fool

so i will just keep deluding myself into believing my few minutes (or hours, sometimes) a day putting videos online in my own pop news blog (that amuses me with stories and information I find in the news or on youtube or somewhere, some tongue in cheek, some controversial, some serious, some irreverent) or in my more personal video me blog (where I put videos that touch me, reflect me, affect me, and in some ways, represent me)… and the time I take to write words in my current daily life blog which is what it is, a record of the life I live and it matters to me…

even if no one ever cares to share any of it…

and all the rest, the bullsugar and blogs of rhymes and prose i write and even the deleted pages (which I will do my best to find and re-upload one day cuz I care, again, even if nobody else ever does), they matter, even if that is just my delusion and I am a fool for believing it…

but I’m not…

(the title lies)

antiblogdistablishmenterrorism

what would you be doing right now if the internet was not here?

who cares?

i could write the most profoundly essential words, the concept that explains god or the universe or everything, the key to peace and happiness and universal understanding, and who cares?... like the dam tree faling in the forest, it's meaningless... and even if you read it, are you really going to do it?... are we really going to share it?... of course not, we'll just go on bullshitting ourselves with the daily drivel we make so important (usually based on money in this sick culture) and nod our heads at the words and then forget they even exist...

i dare you to prove me wrong...

407-325-1482

get the point?

the point

may be to demonstrate why blogging is ineffectual as a means of meaningful conversation, for no blog can stop the bleeding... in other words (because there are always other words, time and space dilute any meaningfulness the words, and therein the blog, can have)... if i am so lonesome i could die at this moment and hold out hope that words posted here will help, i could just as easily be so fucking angry at the futility of reaching out that i could scream fuck you all for not giving a damn a few moments later because, after all, you are not sitting there waiting for my plea for comfort and reassurance that i am not alone... and then, look around, am i really there?... here?... anywhere?... of course not, so the loneliness can only be abated a bit and only in the mind... but the bottom line is that the very act of sitting here and typing these words and writing this blog is keeping me from ending the actual loneliness in my life... catch 2?...

so keep blogging, if that is really what you want to do...