because nobody cares enough

people pretend to care, but nobody really cares enough... the bullshit people claiming to emulate the jesus character are the worst as they bleed hypocrisy, condemning and killing and creating poverty and starvation and hatred while pretending they are righteous and holy... those emulating other supposedly good kind and loving savious are no better... they pretend goodness as they are killing their neighbors... they are worms feeding on the corpse of humanity...

don't wanna be angry

but fuck this humanity hypocrisy and if you don't know what i mean, you just may be a moron and part of it, but before i say fuck you too, i'll give you the chance to explain... and in case you ever gave a fuck, whatever is not considered an explanation...

you were never here

you never read this

all you never knew

came before...

still are

nothing personal, but nobody really cares beyond their personal bubbles, their sphere of influence, their ability to perceive and understand and control... if you thought differently, you were wrong... still are...

all the lonely people, where do they all come from?

really, who gives a fuck?

you miss out

lately this place has been visited, yeah, someone, maybe you, stopped by here and maybe you even read the words... maybe you even left a comment and i didn't notice... but nobody read this one and because of that, it continues... and you miss out...

it's because

it's because so few people are not psychopaths (as if you could understand anything)... how can you know what you do not know... how can you open your mind to something you are too afraid to even imagine as a possibility?... imagine no possessions, can you?... can you imagine no countries?... can you imagine no religion?... pretty song, but you are too afraid to actually free yourself from your need for spiritual and jingoistic hate (no less possessiveness and greed) to even begin to understand the wisdom, no less actualize the words... you are the disease, the virus, the cancer killing yourself and trying to kill this planet... and if you were only a little more intelligent than an ape, you'd know the planet will survive and you will not... but you ignore and re-write history in your egocentric madness to quell your fears and believe you are some sort of hero... humans may be the stupidest sentient species in the universe, no wonder nobody else wants contact... good laugh, huh?...

dolts...

blindness is relative

are you one of the fools who believe what you do not see is not there?... pathetic... you lived your entire life and you never knew what you missed...

people are cruel

fear makes people cruel... even though it hurts them inside, they become numb to it and justify it by believing they must be cruel to survive... they must kill... they must hate... getting paid to be cruel is the norm... step on each other in the climb to the top... win at all costs... kindness is weakness... caring is weakness... the best liar wins... trust is weakness... be kind, caring, truthful, vulnerable, try it, you'll end up with nothing... show me proof otherwise if you can...

the psycho path

most rational aware conscious people

do not get

nearly enough credit

for not

being

violent psychopaths...

shit yeah

just for the record, all kidding aside (all shitting you aside too), if you followed every link in the previous entry then what the fuck?... why are you still here (or not here, depending on perspective)?...

my left tit thanks you.

seriously now?

or seriously not, as in seriously, NOT! but fucking WHAT?!!?!! and really, now who takes any of this shit seriously, anyway... really?... no REALLY!! WHAT??!?!?!... it's all bullshit anyway, in case you were too stupid to realize the obvious... you can get fucking offended or shake your head pathetically with lame aspirsions boucing around between your ears (as if you had room for thinking at all) or you can get lost in mindless videos but the truth is (right, believe this) nothing is really as it seems, WHAT?!?!?... sappy pathetic fantasies as if you want to be with me or even ancient rhetoric, eros, saphos, pathos, ethos, or something like that... this?... WHAT?!?!?!... and in the end it all just may be relative opinions and complaints (or comments and complaints, depending on perspective)...

any day now

i just might catch up here (as if i was never gone as if that would be something new, screw) when i have a moment to barf up some seriously special vitriol about whatever sticks in my craw about whatever anytime because, you know, life in this world is full of shit (people produce more of it than anything else, especially in the west, cuz people eat so much more than they need to survive, which is just one of the problems with people), but for tonight i will just remind myself this place exists and so does this part of me... being nice, don't let it fool you too much... people do that, you know?...

empathy

you can pretend it's ok, but empathy sucks... the world is full of depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopaths and you want to feel the way they feel?... you must be one too... it's the brainwashing you get from birth that convinces you that being a martyr is a good thing, that dying for a cause is a good thing, that a life of self-less sacrifice is a good thing, but you hate actually doing it so much you become torn into a bi-polar depressed suicidal sado-masochistic psychopath... and you pretend not to know it...

happy fucking birthday...

justice for none

ever wonder what it might be like to be the person who controls everything?... is there someone who does have that power or is that just a fantasy or conspiracy theory?... come on, can you use your mind at all?... ever wonder why people are so stupid to believe that if a small group of people, like rich bankers, for instance, controlled everything it must be either a far fetched conspiracy theory - or evil (for those who believe it), but if an invisible person who lives in the sky controls everything in this hellish world of torture and suffering, that guy to be worshipped and unconditionally trusted?...

morons...

sympathy?

i don't want any, compassion, maybe, but is there any compassion in this world that isn't self-serving bullshit?... i don't think so and if you can prove me wrong, maybe i will sympathize...

meaningless drivel

as opposed to meaningless complaints (what?... shameless self-promotion?... promoting what?... meaningless drivel?)... how the hell did you find yourself stumbling through this place, anyway?... were you searching for the word fuck or masochist or something?... some sort of warped self-loathing?... a death wish?... accidental word association (you poor fool)... look around, i'm sure you'll find something to offend you, asshole...

hate too though

when i want to vent vitriol, venom, or vexation, i come here... when i want to spew shit that bugs me, i might go elsewhere (like the futility of a blog called meaningless complaints, for instance)... but when i am feeling the reality of nobody caring enough or the fact that humans are suicidal individually and as a species and i just want to stop hoping people will change and tell them all to fuck off, here we are... what fucking vulnerability is this?...

ok, you want more, i can do vulnerable... especially personally, the fact is, i write something about myself and/or something creatively every day somewhere... i maintain a daily life blog... i write in more than a hundred other blogs and places for an equivalent number of reasons... and the fact is that the fact is, nobody cares enough to be there everywhere every time i write... fact is, only a few people care enough to check in every now and then... fact is, i feel like i waste my time trying to communicate with humans, trying to maintain hope someone will understand and share... fact is, i feel like an idiot for continuing to be here... hey, maybe i fit in now, with the idiots i mean... pathetic makes us the same, right?... how pathetic...

yeah?

they will they will fuck you

people, that is... whether through government, religion, consumerism, family, whatever, they will (they will) fuck you and fuck you up good... awwww, did i hurt someone's feelings?... did i shock someone's sensibilities?... did i offend?...

well fuck you, being offended is just your way of trying to control me - shove your nose up someone else's ass if you want to be shit on... play the victim, play the poor abused victim, the pitiful frail human, but you are really a spoiled prick wanting to be jacked off... your mistake is trusting someone cares just because they say they do... they just want your money, your energy, your mind and body... don't believe them because they will (yes they will) fuck you...

what a waste

yeah, all the memories, all the love we gave is wasted, gone, bullshit because it's gone, the people leave and forget and there is nothing real left... not even enough to create something out of nothing the way i used to, just the empty realization that the caring ended and the love was wasted... and nobody who ever gave a fuck lasted...

not just hate

plenty of ambiviolence (ambivalence?) and distaint (disdain?) and crap coming out of everybody's ass because that is how humans are built and the species has not evolved to the point of cleaning up behind ourselves and yet just aware enough to be able to fool ourselves into thinking we are a superior species... if we don't destroy ourselves, maybe we will get there...

eventually...

pause

i was distracted, maybe... i was complacent, maybe... i was apathetic, maybe... i was pretending it was all ok, maybe... distracted, complacent, apathetic, pretending, repetitious, redundant, superfluous, stupid... but nothing changed, did it?... what a waste...

middle of the night

anyone out there awake?... sometimes i just want to know someone who cares and is awake to say hello to, even in text, in the middle of the night... but the silence tells the story of how little people care...

titless

it's good to not be lonely
it's good to be in love
it's good to live with friends
it's good to have someone to sleep with
someone to cuddle with
someone to be with

it sucks to be lonely
it sucks to not be in love
it sucks to live alone
it sucks to have no one to sleep with
no one to cuddle with
no one to be with

and though it may not be quite so black and white
mostly this is way too right
and i'd rather be good
than suck

wtfuck?

oh, did i offend someone?... did i surprise by finishing the f word after the wt?... what the fuck is the difference?... what the fuck is the point of this blog?... was there any point?... was there any worth to any of the entries along the way?... years now this blog has been spitting vitriol and futility into cyberspace and now and then someone response with understanding or something... but what does it mean?... what's the point?... what the fuck?...

beyond fatigue

blurry beyond fatigue beyond exhausted beyond...

beyond words...

returning the futility

the longer it continues, the less it matters...

kapish?

and in the end

you became meaningless in your absence...

and this blog was dedicated to you.

message to the missing

and being missing, you might miss this message, but because you are missing, this is for you... you know who you are...

why are you not following my words?... your caring ends?... you can get an email (or text, even) letting you know i put a few words online and you choose to be missing it, you are missing in inaction...

and i miss you less each year...

punctuation

you looking for some?... have a fucking period.

useless warnings

requesting attention may get you some
giving attention may get you more
but look around and take care of your heart
in this blog you will be torn apart

this is the anti-blog
i curse the hypocrisy
of people pretending to care
especially about me

words can mean anything
you decide in your mind
if you believe you understand
you might as well be blind

even in the physical world
where everybody lies
don't pretend you know anything
until you look into my eyes

and then, the challenge begins
dare truth to come out
I doubt you will, i expect you to pretend
that is what people are about

dare to prove me wrong
every test will tell
how far will you go
to create your heaven or hell

words can mean anything
you decide in your mind
if you believe you understand
you might as well be blind

it is all in your mind
where everybody lies
don't pretend you know anything
until you look in my eyes

anti-corp

maybe that is what all this blogging is about, the extreme antithesis of the corporate board room serious professional high risk of public exposure due to major secret privacy rules and laws and clearances and stuff i can only alude to cleverly and even this is beyond wise considering the dangers and losses that could be sustained if the secrets get out...

i am a rebel, after all...

and only you know...

sorta...

narf...

here, there, wherever

doesn't really matter whether i am here or gone or wherever in the end cuz the world goes on (and so do you) whether i am here or gone, there or wherever, and you don't really care cuz you don't call and ask where i am or how i am when i am gone and i don't even know you are there and we probably will never actually know each other so what?... we pretend we relate for a second or few and get some sense of connection and that gets us where?... here, there, wherever...

caring is a verb

if you do not do it, you lose it
if you do not do it, it does not exist
even if you think it does
even if you create a feeling inside
that fools you into believing you do
if you do not do it, you don't

did you care today?
what did you do?

wasting time?

writing is a way of life for me and yet, why do i bother writing to people who do not respond, or worse, to people who do not even care to notice i am writing?... people suck sometimes, especially those who say they care and show interest for a little while and then prove they never actually did care by disappearing and worse, ignoring any attempts to stay connected in any way... it's worse when someone tells you (and shows you) they love you and want you to be their whole world... love is a waste on humans, they have no concept of how to do it or what it truly can be... why believe people can mean what they say?... why believe people can be trusted?... why believe people care when they so obviously do not?... fuck 'em all...

it never ends

we only die...

no matter how much the wish

is valued, that is, no matter how much value is played on the wish, the power still lies with the grantor, not the wisher... and so it goes, the grantor sucks to ignore the wish and all that's left to do is say fuck you and keep on wishing... unless you are ready to devalue and compromise your wish... and whether that makes you a rational human or a pussy is all a matter of perspective... go ahead, shoot your arrow and then paint your target around it, you've got the right to any illusion you can create amidst this delusional species called human... if it makes you happy...

you wanna start something?

let me know what/when i make a difference in your life...

and then just as surely

fuckit :)

all the words are yesterday and today, nothing else matters (that came before) and i forget the hunger for your attention until i return, laughing, cuz the delusion is obvious and as meaningless as it can be...

i. m. fool

so i will just keep deluding myself into believing my few minutes (or hours, sometimes) a day putting videos online in my own pop news blog (that amuses me with stories and information I find in the news or on youtube or somewhere, some tongue in cheek, some controversial, some serious, some irreverent) or in my more personal video me blog (where I put videos that touch me, reflect me, affect me, and in some ways, represent me)… and the time I take to write words in my current daily life blog which is what it is, a record of the life I live and it matters to me…

even if no one ever cares to share any of it…

and all the rest, the bullsugar and blogs of rhymes and prose i write and even the deleted pages (which I will do my best to find and re-upload one day cuz I care, again, even if nobody else ever does), they matter, even if that is just my delusion and I am a fool for believing it…

but I’m not…

(the title lies)

101

caring 101 as if it is so hard to grasp... that's right, a hundred and one posts right here and how many of them have you missed?... of course, you are way too busy to care enough to actually keep in touch, all of you who claim to care... almost fifteen hundred entries in the primary daily blog and how many have you read, no less left a caring word or two that would actually make your so called caring real... yeah, yeah, i know, time is relative and it's the thought that counts and all that jazz...

and how many thoughts included me?

you want positivity, go elsewhere, you'll find the reality of your caring, or lack thereof, reflected back at you it you ever show up here... the worst part is you actually think you do care...

one more daily delusion bought and sold...

word.