tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-78057467335390977952011-10-21T00:41:07.291-04:00<p align="right"><i>maintaining the balance</i></p>candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.comBlogger1181100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-28931577442562455292011-08-12T23:04:00.000-04:002011-08-12T23:04:24.265-04:00

it's good to not be lonely it's good to be in love it's good to live with friends it's good to have someone to sleep with someone to cuddle with someone to be with it sucks to be lonely it sucks to not be in love it sucks to live alone it sucks to have no one to sleep with no one to cuddle with no one to be with and though it may not be quite so black and white mostly this is way too right and

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-12052722700589747452011-08-07T00:12:00.000-04:002011-08-07T00:12:44.569-04:00

oh, did i offend someone?... did i surprise by finishing the f word after the wt?... what the fuck is the difference?... what the fuck is the point of this blog?... was there any point?... was there any worth to any of the entries along the way?... years now this blog has been spitting vitriol and futility into cyberspace and now and then someone response with understanding or something... but

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-13222369194480034192011-07-17T00:14:00.002-04:002011-08-07T00:19:01.680-04:00

blurry beyond fatigue beyond exhausted beyond... beyond words...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-86346580209048601162011-06-16T01:24:00.000-04:002011-06-16T01:24:03.536-04:00

the longer it continues, the less it matters... kapish?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-22677164375203931002011-05-22T03:14:00.000-04:002011-05-22T03:14:41.331-04:00

you became meaningless in your absence... and this blog was dedicated to you.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-29096099822798525192011-04-18T23:23:00.000-04:002011-04-18T23:23:42.783-04:00

and being missing, you might miss this message, but because you are missing, this is for you... you know who you are... why are you not following my words?... your caring ends?... you can get an email (or text, even) letting you know i put a few words online and you choose to be missing it, you are missing in inaction... and i miss you less each year...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-26366712302010813532011-04-14T23:00:00.000-04:002011-04-14T23:00:16.373-04:00

you looking for some?... have a fucking period.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-89688916275510015702011-03-12T23:35:00.000-05:002011-03-12T23:35:02.022-05:00

requesting attention may get you some giving attention may get you more but look around and take care of your heart in this blog you will be torn apart this is the anti-blog i curse the hypocrisy of people pretending to care especially about me words can mean anything you decide in your mind if you believe you understand you might as well be blind even in the physical world where everybody

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-75502261384132336762011-02-10T22:48:00.000-05:002011-02-10T22:48:47.231-05:00

maybe that is what all this blogging is about, the extreme antithesis of the corporate board room serious professional high risk of public exposure due to major secret privacy rules and laws and clearances and stuff i can only alude to cleverly and even this is beyond wise considering the dangers and losses that could be sustained if the secrets get out... i am a rebel, after all... and only

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-27523520813357622512011-02-07T23:38:00.000-05:002011-02-07T23:38:03.496-05:00

doesn't really matter whether i am here or gone or wherever in the end cuz the world goes on (and so do you) whether i am here or gone, there or wherever, and you don't really care cuz you don't call and ask where i am or how i am when i am gone and i don't even know you are there and we probably will never actually know each other so what?... we pretend we relate for a second or few and get some

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-89398536637504083722011-01-04T05:16:00.001-05:002011-01-04T05:16:44.349-05:00

if you do not do it, you lose it if you do not do it, it does not exist even if you think it does even if you create a feeling inside that fools you into believing you do if you do not do it, you don't did you care today? what did you do?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-35113740542543389942010-12-16T04:44:00.000-05:002011-01-04T04:45:12.744-05:00

writing is a way of life for me and yet, why do i bother writing to people who do not respond, or worse, to people who do not even care to notice i am writing?... people suck sometimes, especially those who say they care and show interest for a little while and then prove they never actually did care by disappearing and worse, ignoring any attempts to stay connected in any way... it's worse when

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-22860439830791965142010-11-08T02:48:00.003-05:002010-11-08T02:50:04.213-05:00

we only die...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-42936691059739619162010-10-28T01:20:00.000-04:002010-10-28T01:20:57.319-04:00

is valued, that is, no matter how much value is played on the wish, the power still lies with the grantor, not the wisher... and so it goes, the grantor sucks to ignore the wish and all that's left to do is say fuck you and keep on wishing... unless you are ready to devalue and compromise your wish... and whether that makes you a rational human or a pussy is all a matter of perspective... go

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-57872214729332143812010-10-19T00:25:00.003-04:002010-10-28T01:22:32.593-04:00

let me know what/when i make a difference in your life...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-22735321264254594502010-08-19T00:17:00.000-04:002010-08-19T00:17:05.670-04:00

fuckit :) all the words are yesterday and today, nothing else matters (that came before) and i forget the hunger for your attention until i return, laughing, cuz the delusion is obvious and as meaningless as it can be...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-4424141078839631042010-08-15T05:34:00.001-04:002010-08-15T05:36:26.770-04:00

so i will just keep deluding myself into believing my few minutes (or hours, sometimes) a day putting videos online in my own pop news blog (that amuses me with stories and information I find in the news or on youtube or somewhere, some tongue in cheek, some controversial, some serious, some irreverent) or in my more personal video me blog (where I put videos that touch me, reflect me, affect me,

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-52204939371624505672010-08-01T03:55:00.000-04:002010-08-01T03:55:16.216-04:00

caring 101 as if it is so hard to grasp... that's right, a hundred and one posts right here and how many of them have you missed?... of course, you are way too busy to care enough to actually keep in touch, all of you who claim to care... almost fifteen hundred entries in the primary daily blog and how many have you read, no less left a caring word or two that would actually make your so called

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-65053339399966232432010-07-26T22:28:00.000-04:002010-07-26T22:28:29.245-04:00

so easy to see proof that you do not care, so easy to see the shallow lies you tell, so easy to see the superficial facade you try to sell to the world and so easy to see how the world buys it... you are the world, you kill the children... and then you write songs and stories to celebrate what you call truths and glories... why would anyone not delusional want to be near you?...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-19293120060547728322010-07-24T00:46:00.000-04:002010-07-24T00:46:08.835-04:00

deep sleep dreams last for but the briefest moment and in the end, the saved gave nothing back to the world but fear and oppression and nightmares (they needed to create the darkness and fear of the darkness to sell the light), so nothing else matters, who knows (tomorrow?)... like you could care less...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-4104991706000686242010-07-11T02:43:00.000-04:002010-07-11T02:43:08.065-04:00

you don't, why should I?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-28461981475136332072010-06-28T04:23:00.000-04:002010-06-28T04:23:11.099-04:00

People are mostly confused, delusional, and afraid to actually think for themselves, therefore their thoughts are relatively meaningless whether they are abstract or concrete as they are "hive" or collective thoughts and not individual thoughts, rendering all irrelevant.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-6959449715652277952010-06-08T01:11:00.000-04:002010-06-08T01:11:05.863-04:00

or not so joke is that i am one of the people laughing at the ridiculousness of egocentric insecurity that compels us to pretend that anybody might care to know every little thing about me or you or anyone as if something important like happiness or world peace rests on writing these words... wait, it's time for my next tweet... narf.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-42811004351926682752010-05-30T03:01:00.000-04:002010-05-30T03:01:52.772-04:00

some people just want to hurt you because they hurt and the don't want to hurt alone... the trouble is, they could kill you... protect yourself...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-60873755584783877462010-05-11T03:08:00.009-04:002010-05-30T03:13:19.011-04:00

if you did, you'd have change the world a long time ago... but what did you do today?... did you hurt someone?... did you waste something?... did you think about some kid starving somewhere or the six people who were killed in the past hour?... what is in your garbage?... what is in your heart?... you think no one sees?... . . . exactly...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-55160823264405198872010-04-30T03:02:00.005-04:002010-05-30T03:08:20.018-04:00

the day before you learned how fucked up people can be, how cruel, how selfish, how mean, how unbelievably cold... it was a good day...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-86557785719213972602010-04-04T20:23:00.000-04:002010-04-04T20:23:29.098-04:00

bitter angry sadness is bubbling down deep cuz ATT did what Disney and Lycos and Yahoo and others did before, suddenly blocked acces to web pages before i could download them and save them... thousands of pages, 90% of myt written gardens, gone in an instant... corporate america could care less about people... why should i...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-47560879630707830282010-03-30T22:48:00.000-04:002010-03-30T22:48:32.043-04:00

when nobody cares...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-41484038782449902672010-02-24T00:17:00.000-05:002010-02-24T00:17:54.925-05:00

whatever could possible be the reason behind continuing when there is nothing redeeming about this human life anymore and there is no hope that any of the humans will understand true enlightenment in this lifetime?... posterity?... whatevery...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-33866458580525291572010-02-16T22:02:00.000-05:002010-02-16T22:02:47.980-05:00

unless you see the laughter behind the insults and the truth whithin the message because the whole point is to separate the idiots from the morons and those in between from those who thing eating at mcdonalds is a celebration to those who only eat the center cut of cow and those who believe life is defined by five senses and the egocentric self-serving narrow view humans take of everything, so

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-72563134947365222422010-02-13T02:48:00.003-05:002010-02-13T02:48:38.830-05:00

that is the human way

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-58890405328255845142010-02-04T23:46:00.000-05:002010-02-04T23:46:01.344-05:00

you are an idiot... but then, you had to know that was coming, look where you are... here again?... i mean, again?... obviously, you are wrong, because it you do not take this seriously, you just prove the point, nobody cares, so why should you... so why are you here, really?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-6417320094441993952010-01-27T23:28:00.004-05:002010-01-28T00:40:13.700-05:00

it shows in all your silences, in your pretenses, in your hypocrisy and obvious manipulations... so why do you keep trying to pretend you do?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-61389074827698930542010-01-16T02:20:00.001-05:002010-01-27T23:24:49.131-05:00

most people do, you know, and you never know it because nobody who sees you do it has the heart to tell you because it's embarrassing for both of you and people are naturally awkward to begin with so avoiding nose picking snorers like yourself is an obvious choice... but i'll tell you cuz i'm a sadist...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-39286028027176484612010-01-01T02:17:00.000-05:002010-01-16T02:18:47.917-05:00

what're YOU lookin at?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-49726998478579863162009-12-25T02:16:00.003-05:002010-01-27T23:25:54.480-05:00

fuck xmas and the donkey it rode in on...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-2735346439819889882009-12-16T02:14:00.010-05:002010-01-16T02:51:09.994-05:00

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxi'mxoxoxox xoxoxnotxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxoxoxfuckingxoxoxoxoxox xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox xoxoxoxmilaxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxkunisxoxox xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-37759663642777482422009-12-01T02:15:00.000-05:002010-01-16T02:16:33.505-05:00

i mean, want to know cuz if you did, you'd be like all over the net searching and googling and binging and pinging and ponging and bonging and caterwalling about how unfair to local twelve it is that you don't... know, that is...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-33591408086135747422009-11-10T02:31:00.001-05:002009-11-10T02:33:44.449-05:00

oh yeah?... what would you be doing right now if the internet was not here?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-24056821836386326092009-10-30T23:12:00.006-04:002009-10-30T23:23:03.070-04:00

the caring, the concern, the seriousness of life, the religious beliefs, the political ideology, the philosophical ponderings, the physical passion, the financial success, the togetherness, the responsibility, the regularity of entries, the righteous indignation, the amusement, the emotion, everything can be faked and usually is... pretend otherwise and you are just faking it...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-86023937888063479142009-10-11T01:09:00.016-04:002009-11-01T01:18:30.338-04:00

if you, the government, a major drug company, big brother, sister, or yes, if you were experimenting with bio-engeneering or genetic manipulations or drugs and believed you found a drug that would make everyone calm and happy or easily manipulated or a genetic marker for passivity that could be triggered with a certain chemical, how would you convince everyone in the world to let you inject that

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-28858665136462207992009-09-18T00:24:00.002-04:002009-09-18T00:24:41.047-04:00

people only care when they want to.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-85344857147630314862009-09-11T00:34:00.006-04:002009-10-31T00:39:34.032-04:00

just look at what attracts the most people the most... the news is all about death and destruction, abuse and victimization, who to heat and/or fear... news you need to know they tell you... people also love to judge others badly and laugh at others... just look at the tabloid papers and tv shows from talk to celebrity gossip to cop shows to reality tv shows... people love to watch conflict and

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-10911849622591075632009-08-21T00:31:00.005-04:002009-10-31T00:34:53.418-04:00

I remember, but what is the point, really, if nobody cares (interacts to accept the caring, cha)?...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-16834319028149750272009-08-01T00:28:00.004-04:002009-10-31T00:31:34.195-04:00

if you don't care about yourself, anybody caring about you is working against you and faces a struggle with you, so anybody caring with you is picking a fight with you... so picking a fight with someone is caring... think about it...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-50770970121925267212009-07-17T00:27:00.002-04:002009-10-31T00:28:19.384-04:00

why?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-63493552573849075252009-06-30T00:16:00.005-04:002009-10-31T00:27:12.275-04:00

life is momentary, so people justify caring becayse they believe there's some benefit after death, care because it gets you into heaven... and if there is no heaven?...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-70120281144935764392009-06-05T22:03:00.007-04:002009-06-05T22:10:17.501-04:00

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-35615980087312687682009-06-01T22:59:00.002-04:002009-06-01T23:08:43.447-04:00

wait just a doggarn minute... are we laughing at the irony of this blogging conversation with no one? (shhhh, we create our own illusions you know and i appreciate the humor of the illusion you help me to create)... talking about real people here and there and especially in thereal with you, as if you are real too... yeah baby, he's a real nowhere man, cha cha cha (narf :)we now return you to

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-24996749589620995622009-05-23T03:13:00.001-04:002009-05-23T03:14:45.185-04:00

proof is in the silence

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-46168725745789250802009-05-12T23:00:00.002-04:002009-05-12T23:02:15.764-04:00

if you don't do it, you don't.but you probably think and say you do, don't you?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-79448175559545614482009-05-04T23:19:00.002-04:002009-05-12T23:01:48.317-04:00

death is probably the best end for them...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-70728325902759384582009-04-13T02:00:00.003-04:002009-04-20T00:31:04.383-04:00

most people are... and i don't mean that most people are fat and eat way more than their bodies need so they produce a lot of fecal material and fill toilets and sewers and landfills a whole lot more than they need to, but that's true too, at least as far as i can see... i mean most people lie all the time... most people don't care what is truth and what is a lie because they lie to themselves...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-23434273816558104612009-04-07T00:31:00.001-04:002009-04-20T00:33:39.392-04:00

no matter how well you lie.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-58305935752600629652009-03-17T03:23:00.003-04:002009-03-21T22:31:34.583-04:00

but first, fuck me... come on, somebody (but not just anybody, get that right), fuck me... and i don't mean screw me over, abuse me, betray me, take advantage of me, use me, or in any way do me wrong (i've had plenty of that in this life already thank you very much)... yeah, in some way (elusive or not) i am teling you all the fuck off because none of you care to come out of your holes (read:

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-46955403624887568412009-03-06T23:36:00.003-05:002009-03-08T23:42:44.998-04:00

i could write the most profoundly essential words, the concept that explains god or the universe or everything, the key to peace and happiness and universal understanding, and who cares?... like the dam tree faling in the forest, it's meaningless... and even if you read it, are you really going to do it?... are we really going to share it?... of course not, we'll just go on bullshitting ourselves

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-1423406967150421152009-02-26T16:32:00.004-05:002009-02-26T16:45:00.635-05:00

the music above this or the words down below or the story in your eyes (go to the mirror boy?)... just listen and read and you'll find it if you want to and then it will matter... we cannot do everything at once, we cannot be everything to everyone, and we can only focus on one moment at a time if we truly want to make the most of the moment, enjoy it well, and share it completely... any less,

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-61102183002686793192009-01-16T00:05:00.001-05:002009-01-16T00:07:06.360-05:00

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-82199659679675188192009-01-10T05:03:00.002-05:002009-01-12T05:05:56.229-05:00

get the point?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-4857053169564494732009-01-02T02:43:00.000-05:002009-01-04T02:56:59.710-05:00

i know i deserve better treatment from those with whom i interact... i deserve to be appreciated more... i deserve more consideration for my feelings and for my desires... i do not deserve to be ignored, to be used at everyone else's convenience and then disgarded, or at least put aside for weeks, months, or years only to be expected to pick up right where i left off giving unconditionally when

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-92020311833199049912008-12-23T23:28:00.005-05:002008-12-23T23:35:20.326-05:00

foolish as it seems, i still have my dreams... and the hope that all these words, thouands of pages (many thousands, actually)... an average of an hour a day for more than a decade (with some days skipped and other days lived in the words) writing and sending these words, these messages in bottles out on to the cyber seas... like a drunk robinson caruso talking to a soccer ball named amy, or [

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-9885460417747410862008-12-17T23:59:00.004-05:002008-12-18T00:07:18.277-05:00

you come here for a moment pretend it's importantto share something with meas if it's destinyor something you really wantand then you're gonesuddenly as you camecarry on, carry onwhat's the point?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-38340761686552189012008-11-27T15:39:00.008-05:002008-11-27T15:51:34.093-05:00

what does the burning tree say to the burning bush?fuck you?orLive!

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-80504030536931682152008-11-01T04:44:00.001-04:002008-11-02T08:46:22.767-05:00

and not at all.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-85300162600239271362008-10-19T03:00:00.000-04:002008-10-19T03:02:34.389-04:00

we continue the pointless hypocrisy of purpose in spite of awareness mostly because nobody cares to give us something else to do and we have the time to waste in the middle of the night when everyone else is asleep...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-47238597486673177452008-10-06T19:06:00.003-04:002008-10-06T19:08:02.686-04:00

and when the point is made and taken and given to exposure and made all too clear to be avoided, we have the answer we came to seek and then, lose interest and mosey off with our exuberance as if it never existed at all...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-66590612245945770732008-09-22T08:22:00.008-04:002011-04-14T22:42:53.258-04:00

may be to demonstrate why blogging is ineffectual as a means of meaningful conversation, for no blog can stop the bleeding... in other words (because there are always other words, time and space dilute any meaningfulness the words, and therein the blog, can have)... if i am so lonesome i could die at this moment and hold out hope that words posted here will help, i could just as easily be so

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-17449992026324660962008-09-18T23:43:00.001-04:002008-09-18T23:46:06.684-04:00

does not matter if nobody cares, and fact is, nobody does, but no worries, we can all go on pretending everybody cares just like at christmas or in church or at family gatherings or anywhere people seem to care because, after all, that is what we do... and that is what it is about.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-81633604867728956482008-08-08T08:08:00.002-04:002008-11-29T00:10:54.497-05:00

if i came here every day and wrote something meaningful, something profound, or even just something that i wanted to share, innocuous, personal, general, specific, serious, irreverence, nonsense, or whatever... would it matter in the end if you missed an entry?as if that doesn't happen every day, but who's counting, anyway?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16247345559618328103noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-70073270774933886102008-05-16T00:30:00.004-04:002008-05-16T00:37:19.549-04:00

That's all we are, lab rats. Running around the maze of the internet, even when nobody is watching. Maybe the experiment got out of hand. Or maybe i am giving away the big secret right here and now. Does that eliminate me from the game or get me promoted. Not that I am actually asking. But Paranoids want to know, after all. Not really, if they wanted to know they wouldn't be so afraid of knowing,

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-57679230132394874722008-05-07T02:43:00.003-04:002008-05-07T02:48:23.977-04:00

All the words can not compare with the touch of human skin, the breath of human exhale, the kiss of human lips. All the loving words in the universe cannot begin to fill the physical void of a sensual being. That is why most die while still walking around, for the agony of feeling the emptiness is worse than any numbness, but fools ask the question - is it better to go numb in words, to give up

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-19084358262087547592008-05-01T04:19:00.001-04:002008-05-10T18:21:26.674-04:00

We would understand.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-10796135127853782702008-04-17T02:50:00.004-04:002008-05-07T02:56:27.038-04:00

Spending so much time online, or at least appearing to, I confess the illusion is greater than the sum of it's parts. How many of my blogs have you found and do you know why? Why for you and why for me, why is the question before the last letter.Irony of language used in correspondence. So I confess. As much as I crave your attention, your respect, your admiration, adoration, affection... as much

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-20360178807814485432008-04-07T02:48:00.002-04:002008-05-07T02:50:40.662-04:00

Did people really care more, or was I just more hopeful and less aware of the selfish cruelty and wasteful insensitivity that dominates human lives?Will anyone ever know?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-52762013169097170392008-03-29T02:57:00.002-04:002008-05-07T03:01:55.127-04:00

We all hide here in this online purgatory, too scared to leave the thread of hope we might mean something to someone in this world, too scared to go out and face the high potential for rejection or worse, too scared to face the truth of this illusionary celebrity and imaginary friendship we build in our minds. Life is out there, where are we?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-89760475021063322542008-03-15T01:56:00.000-04:002008-03-17T22:00:37.556-04:00

years after the fact, like some savior seeker martyr innocent puppet following blindly some dream of heavenly parental figure that relieves all responsibility, dissolves all worries, ceases all pain, and heals all wounds, ethereal and physical, so rebirth is the only option, and it's supposed to mean something now?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-3360787750814422262008-02-27T02:57:00.000-05:002008-02-27T02:58:55.980-05:00

that nobody really cares.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-811242957916130872008-02-17T02:26:00.000-05:002008-02-20T02:29:53.007-05:00

I just go on writing here, careless, or pretending not to care, bitter, or pretending to be bitter, cursing laughter, or laughing at the crap spouted into the void. I just go on writing here, as I could care less if anyone was out there, as if the whole point of blogging was a pathetic waste of time and energy. I just go on writing here, if no one knows.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-82830190123849047132008-01-26T02:26:00.000-05:002008-02-04T02:28:49.245-05:00

if you can tell me why it matters, i'd still ask you to prove it... if you could prove ir to me, i'd be forever grateful...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-28367866718468691672008-01-17T00:16:00.000-05:002008-01-22T00:17:52.855-05:00

if i wanted to, i would...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-42737600750774533922008-01-04T00:55:00.000-05:002008-01-14T00:58:35.992-05:00

DON'T LET ME STOP YOUR GREAT SELF-DESTRUCTIONDIE IF YOU WANT TO YOU MISGUIDED MORTALSI WASH MY HANDS OF YOUR DEMOLITIONDIE IF YOU WANT TO, YOU INNOCENT PUPPETS

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-34356383054253523082007-12-28T02:45:00.000-05:002007-12-28T02:47:12.830-05:00

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-38976568534102572192007-12-16T05:27:00.000-05:002007-12-18T05:30:31.520-05:00

just look at the time slipping by and not even noticed for words don't appear coming or going just as if memories faded into oblivion and it never was because nobody ever really cared because nobody thought about it ever again... but i did...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-39483145332508651472007-12-01T05:12:00.000-05:002007-12-12T05:13:37.383-05:00

it's not even a question

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-80402673990243179032007-10-08T04:17:00.000-04:002007-10-08T04:18:45.812-04:00

when all we can do is live in the moment and even that is an illusion...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-54681517634477259332007-09-18T04:20:00.000-04:002007-09-18T08:21:27.628-04:00

though what is obvious, really?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-71969701104359577342007-07-30T02:25:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:26:06.955-04:00

were you?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-83840632599143727722007-07-24T02:18:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:25:03.063-04:00

ignoring the magic, turning down the music, masturbating in public, putting down a child, eating animal flesh, farting in public, selling out, kissing ass, faking a smile, praying in public, traffic jams, terrorists who think they are the good guys, infomercials, fat people in bikinis (or eating in public), lingering self-pity, whiping your snot on someone else's sleeve...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-20376513151850117712007-07-22T02:16:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:18:10.690-04:00

That's what you come here for.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-62037714351480222332007-07-17T02:15:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:16:33.062-04:00

That's why you have nothing to say.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-84242022326191753872007-07-11T02:09:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:15:11.668-04:00

caged by an unchained melody, there is no escape from the dream of endless love without removing brain cells... there are just too many of them to successfully do permanent brain damage without performing extreme brain salad surgery... and even then, vegetative and seemingly unaware, the dream will haunt every breath you take, even if you never make another move, ever...

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-46996118427744761332007-06-28T02:05:00.000-04:002007-07-31T02:09:44.595-04:00

I feel like I won an award. The first line of my acceptance speech contains the next line of this entry. I want to thank the universe for consistently mocking me so well. With repspect-filled laughter I realize, with excruciating irony, the first comment appeared in a language I do not understand. How perfectly appropriate.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-26981270284576541912007-06-22T18:31:00.000-04:002007-06-22T18:32:47.291-04:00

I have time to waste.I just thought I'd let you know.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-18273174775323674092007-06-01T13:49:00.000-04:002007-06-02T13:50:28.642-04:00

You did not fall for the guilt trip.Very Good.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-820937940377661032007-05-17T01:46:00.000-04:002007-06-02T13:47:54.147-04:00

There could have been something special here, there could have been something real, but you never came so it never was, now how does that make you feel?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-78738182433805985372007-05-01T01:47:00.000-04:002007-06-02T13:49:13.269-04:00

Understand this.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-88573189101411497732007-04-23T03:35:00.000-04:002007-04-23T03:36:05.413-04:00

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-10790681760908969562007-04-08T06:08:00.001-04:002007-04-08T06:08:54.485-04:00

You don't really take all this shit seriously, do you?

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-49774736267915207322007-04-06T03:55:00.001-04:002007-04-06T03:55:40.466-04:00

so you don't.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7805746733539097795.post-45302045385862638652007-03-28T02:33:00.000-04:002007-03-28T02:34:10.822-04:00

You've been doing such a great job helping to create this anti-blog, keep up the good work.

candoorhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/04395163846146800858noreply@blogger.com0